You know what's sad about keeping a daily blog (in my case two)...?

When you are sitting, staring at a blank screen, and realizing exactly how boring your life is. When I was little, I was going to grow up and live this awesome free life and have adventures, and go to exciting places, and meet famous people, and be famous.......

Um, not so much. I went from young and wondrous, to bitter and angsty, to (god forbid) content and semi-secure. Weird.

Hello, my name is Angela, and I am boring.

Well, maybe not boring. Average doesn't quite fit either. Another face in the crowd? Yes. I can be that. When I reflect upon the things that made me who I am, I remember these massive situations. The drama, the good, the bad, the fear, the stupidity, the tears, the laughter, and the people. Looking back, there are so many people.

And it's odd to me that, for some reason, I'm ok with being another face in the crowd. I think it's because I have this thought that the other faces are just as faceted, and dynamic, and troubled as me. I didn't used to think like that. I still have that little feeling deep down inside that I was meant to do something great and really stand out... I just never knew what that was. Of course, my views of 'something great' from childhood to now have greatly changed. It was a defeated moment when I finally realized that I couldn't save the world. I couldn't pick up all the trash, I couldn't feed all the hungry, and I definitely couldn't mend all the broken hearts. Do you know this really upset me? My Dad called me a 'bleeding heart'. I couldn't save everyone. Being involved in rescue helps. But it also reaffirms that I can't save them all.

Well, that went in a whole direction I didn't expect.

I guess it's all about perspective. Which can change by the minute. One minute I'm boring, and the next I'm realizing my life is this hectic, disorganized mess and I'm just standing in the middle of it all calmly trying to make sense of things one piece at a time.