Hello, my name is Angela and I have been "Ex'd" again...

Ugh!

Outside of the horrible dates that don't go anywhere, and the totally whacked out creepers that I have (for the most part) learned to recognize, and type of dating relationship with a man ends in one way for me. I get "Ex'd." Every guy I have ever dated (with very few exceptions) leaves me for his ex. It's a joke with my friends. It's a joke with my family. I'll laugh about it. But inside, my heart is cold, tired, and broken.

I tell myself that this is some kind of reverse karma, and my knight in shining armour is coming soon. But let's be honest here... Prince Charming just isn't in the cards for me. There is no knight on a great white steed. And if there were, I'd probably be too independent for him anyways. This "ex-ing," as it were has taken a great toll on me. It it absolutely blows my mind why they pursued me in the first place. Why they take the time to tear down my walls, only to decide that someone else is better. You couldn't have figured that out BEFORE spending all that time with me??? Before initiating me to respond in an emotional manner. Really???

I get so hurt, angry, confused, and upset when this happens. You would think I would be used to it by now. But I get these emotional waves that wash over me in flashes of wanting to throw things, cry, hide my head, and then moving past it and not caring...

Unlike previous times when this happened, this time is just slightly different... This time I'm not focusing on my self-perceived inadequacies... Oddly enough. Because I usually sob about what's wrong with me, and oh I'm fat, and ugly and blah blah blah.

Um, no. Not this time. I'm not trying to be cocky, and it took me 28 years to realize I am a beautiful woman. I was lucky to have a beautiful face, and womanly curves, and yes I have always struggled with my weight in the past, but I finally realized that I'm not fat. I'm not obese by medical standards, and I'm really not that fat.
I'm beautiful, funny, witty, sarcastic, athletic, independent, strong, wonderful me.

So kiss my ass if you aren't over your ex, I'm already over you.