There are days I seriously wonder if my life isn't some kind of comedy. I mean it's not funny to me, but I can see where my misfortunes would be funny to someone else. I have SEVERAL supporting examples for this.

We'll start with *Sam*. I met him online a few years ago. I think it was off of Hot or Not, or Yahoo Personals, who knows (or cares at this point). *Sam* was just out of the military, very nice via email, and it seemed like we had a lot of similar interests. So after about two months of emailing and texting and a few phone calls, he asked me to dinner. A nice little Italian place in my area. So, anyone who knows me, knows that not only was I excited I put a lot of time and care in getting ready. When I get there, there's a small, man wearing a LARGE Hawaiian shirt and dirty black pants standing outside. He was rocking the 80's fireman porn-stache, and when he smiled, he had the most disgusting rotted nubs left of teeth. The pictures that were sent to me, were NOT this guy. But low and behold, here's my 'date'. (Go ahead laugh) I was determined to prove to myself I was not so shallow as to turn around and leave. I've been stood up before, and I've been left on a date, I know it sucks. So I hiked up my proverbial britches and walked inside. I remember sitting across the table and staring at his teeth as he talked and praying that he order something soft because I didn't want to witness any further damage to them. I only ordered a salad, my appetite was gone, and the urge to run and brush my teeth was almost overwhelming. The worst part, was listening to him. He had some really interesting stories about his military experiences, and childhood tales. But in the end, my shallowness won. I did make it through the entire thing. I almost cried when he ordered dessert, but I made it. He hugged me when we walked out, that was when I realized the smell the entire evening was not the restaurant, it was him. He was talking to me, started to say something about the possibility of meeting up again, when THANK HEAVENS, someone called. I said I had to take it, made out like it was for work, and booked it.
I mean there's no saving those teeth, not with out a WHOLE LOT of money. But really? Shower? Shave? Clean clothes? Sending a REAL picture? Come on... What would you have done? Because I beat myself up on how shallow I was for a little while, then realized it's ok to have standards, and hopefully he meets someone who can look past all that.

What's worse, is that I have tons of these nightmares to share.